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Top PEBL player fails to fail drug test more
Sacramento, C.A. - Acting on direct orders from California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sacramento Capital Park Police staged a daring raid on a PEBL game featuring top PEBL officials, including PEBL President/CEO Bud "Bud" Jones, PEBL's Chief Financial Officer and Information Technology Officer, and the PEBL California Regional Vice President.
"These were what we call HVT's, or High Value Targets," said Capital Police Chief Sam Samson. "I advised the Govinator that these HVT's were observed on the Capital grounds engaged in subversive acts of bocceism, and the Govinator gave the go ahead for a tactical strike."
Samson and the Capital Police braintrust devised a daring attack wherein Officer Fred Flynn-Stone rode by on his mountain bike and advised the game's participants that "while its probably ok today, on a Saturday, you might not want to do that here during the week. But I guess its ok today, because it's Saturday."
PEBL General Counsel Duckworth McKnight III, Esq.2, J.D., CDL responded later that day at a hastily planned PEBL press conference.
"Despite the Govinator's campaign promise that '…when I go to Sacramento, I will pump up Sacramento,' the Govinator has failed to capitalize on this opportunity to pump up Sacramento to the extreme."
When asked if his "capitalize" pun was intentional, McKnight III responded, "no."
The raid came at a crucial moment in the game, with Bud "Bud" Jones clinging to a narrow lead over CFO Timmy Sands. "I just wasn't the same afterwards," said Jones, who went on to loose on a last second comeback by Sands. "These capital cops and their rulemaking through adjudication, it's ridiculous."
Samson fired back later that day, saying "Tough noogies for Mr. Jones. We'll rulemake him up and down the capital grounds. But only on the weekends, not a weekday."
According to a PEBL press release, members from throughout the Sacramento area will state a protest game on the capital grounds. The game is scheduled to start at 4:59 p.m. Tuesday and run until 8:01 a.m. Wednesday morning.
"Our members have a constitutional right under the First Amendment to express themselves through a 109mm high impact resistant resin ball, on the capital grounds, at any time they wish," McKnight III said, "and if they seek to 'enforce' on us again, I will get a Temporary Restraining Order faster than a greased hog on a slip 'n slide can say oink."
